Story 31: Reza Shadey, the Emperor
Right then, snuggle in close. Here's a story about Reza Shadey being extra, extra bossy!
One sunny morning, Reza Shadey woke up on his very comfy cushion. He stretched one paw, then the other. "Meeeowwwn", he yawned. Being the Boss of the Gardens was nice, but... not quite grand enough for him. "No, no", he thought, puffing out his fluffy chest. "I must be MORE! I shall be KING!"
He hopped onto the nearest garden gnome — Boing! — and announced dramatically, "Listen up, everyone! From now on, I am KING REZA!"
Penelope, who was washing her face nearby, stopped mid-lick. Ginger Tom, trying to catch a wiggly worm, paused. Tiger just blinked his big kitten eyes. They looked at each other. Oh dear. Reza was having one of his ideas again. They knew it was best just to nod slowly.
Now, King Reza realised he needed a proper kingly outfit. "A king needs a robe!" he declared. "The most magnificent robe in the world! Made of... made of..." He thought hard. "Made of Feline Royal Silk! Yes! Something no cat has ever seen before!"
He remembered Felix the Fox, who lived nearby and who owed him a favour ever since the 'grumpy owl' incident. Reza marched over to Felix's den. "Fox!" he commanded bossily. "You will make me a cloak of the finest, most luxurious Feline Royal Silk. Instantly!"
Felix the Fox grinned slyly. He knew Reza. "Ooh, this will be fun", thought Felix. He pretended to measure Reza with a blade of grass. Then he pretended to snip and sew with his paws in thin air. Snip, snip, whizz! "Your Majesty", Felix said, trying not to giggle, "this Feline Royal Silk is so special, so magical, that only the cleverest and most important cats can see it. Silly or unworthy cats see nothing at all!"
Reza Shadey looked. He saw... nothing. Absolutely nothing! But could King Reza admit he wasn't clever or important? Never! "Ah, yes", he said, nodding wisely, even though he felt a bit silly. "Marvellous! Truly... silky." "I can't see a thing", he thought panicked, "but I mustn't let this sneaky fox know!"
Felix carefully handed Reza the completely invisible cloak. Reza pretended to drape it over his shoulders, puffing out his chest even more. He paid Felix with a promise of 'future royal favours' (which meant nothing) and paraded back to the garden, head held high, wrapped in his magnificent imaginary robe.
"Gather round!" Reza yowled bossily, summoning all the neighbourhood cats. "Behold! My new Royal Robe! Isn't it the most elegant, most majestic, most sparkly thing you have ever seen?"
Penelope blinked. Ginger Tom squinted. Tiger tilted his head, his whiskers twitching. They saw... Reza. Just plain old fluffy Reza. No robe. Not even a sparkly thread.
But did they say anything? Oh no! They knew King Reza. If anyone dared to say the robe wasn't real, Reza would make their life a misery. He'd hide their favourite toys, blame them for digging up Mrs Higgins's flowers, maybe even tell everyone they had fleas!
So, they clapped their paws together nervously. Clap, clap, clap!
"Oh, Your Majesty Rezzi!" said Penelope, trying hard to sound impressed. "It's... wonderful!"
"Truly... kingly!" agreed Ginger Tom, sweating a little under his fur.
"So very... shiny!" chirped Tiger, trying desperately not to giggle.
Just as King Reza puffed himself up to give a long, boring speech, a little scruffy terrier dog named trotted into the garden. wasn't scared of Reza. He bounded up, sniffing the air. Sniff, sniff!
Then, barked, loud and clear, "WOOF! Hey! Why are you standing there with no clothes on, fluffy cat? You're completely NAKED!" Woof woof!
Silence. Every cat stared. Penelope covered her mouth with her paw. Ginger Tom's eyes went wide. Tiger finally burst out laughing. Hee hee hee!
King Reza froze. His fluffy fur went spiky with shock. Caught! Exposed! He had to think fast!
He gasped dramatically, leaping high into the air. "NAKED? HA! Foolish dog!" he cried, landing with a swirl of his invisible robe. "This was ALL PART of my GRAND ROYAL TEST! Yes! I wanted to see who among you was clever enough to believe in magical robes — and who would laugh like silly kittens!"
The cats blinked at each other. A... test?
Reza puffed out his chest. "And you all passed!" he boomed. "Very loyal! Very obedient! Well done, my subjects!" He gave a deep bow and leapt down from the garden gnome. Boing!
Penelope narrowed her eyes but said nothing. Ginger Tom gave a nervous nod. Tiger still giggled behind his paw. wagged his tail proudly, certain he'd won something.
Suddenly, the kitchen door opened and Mrs Higgins stepped out with a basket of laundry. She stopped, took one look at Reza posing dramatically, and shook her head.
"Reza Shadey", she said, her voice calm but firm. "Always causing a fuss. You think about being a kinder king, or you'll be ruling an empty garden."
Reza's ears drooped for just a moment. But as soon as she went inside, he flicked his tail and grinned a sly grin.
"Heh heh. Still the cleverest", he thought, strutting proudly across the grass.
Later that night, curled on his cushion, he purred sleepily. "Perhaps tomorrow, I'll announce the shed is my Royal Treasury..."
And so, Reza Shadey remained the undisputed, self-appointed, slightly potty King of Nonsense.
Night night. Sleep tight.