The Reza Shadey Dictionary of Expressions

Common Idioms / Warning Labels

Don't Be Such a Reza Shadey

Human Meaning: Don't be overly dramatic, stubborn, self-justifying, or create chaos while claiming it was a plan.

A phrase invented by jealous observers. It actually means "thinking bigger than everyone else and refusing to apologise for genius." See also: Visionary.

Business & Strategy

A Visionary Doesn't Need Stationery

Human Meaning: Truly creative thinkers don't rely on formal tools or written plans.

My ideas arrive complete, perfect, and undeniable. Writing them down would only slow them and invite criticism from people with pens but no vision.

Business & Strategy

A Tactical Retreat Is Still a Victory

Human Meaning: Withdrawing can be a strategic choice to save resources.

I did not run away from the vacuum cleaner. I preserved my dignity, gathered intelligence, and left before the situation caught up with my brilliance.

Project Management

If It Failed, It Was a Stress Test

Human Meaning: Failure reveals weaknesses in a system.

Exactly. The plan worked perfectly. The world (or the shelf, or the tree branch) simply failed to support it.

Diplomacy

Never Apologise When You Can Explain

Human Meaning: Sometimes explanation is better than apology (dubious advice).

An apology ends a conversation. A long, complicated explanation rewrites history in my favour.

Operations

Quality Control

Human Meaning: Ensuring a product meets standards.

Me, eating the best bit of Ginger Tom's sandwich before he sees it. It is for his own safety.

Metaphysics

Every Problem Is a Metaphor

Human Meaning: Not everything has symbolic meaning.

Wrong. Especially when I need to reframe responsibility.

Feline Idioms

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Human Meaning: Being too curious can lead to danger.

Lies told by boring people to protect their snacks. My curiosity leads to innovation, crumbs, and occasional international incidents.

Feline Idioms

Don't Let the Cat Out of the Bag

Human Meaning: Don't reveal a secret.

Loose lips ruin perfectly good schemes. Silence is professionalism. Also, I do not like bags.

Feline Idioms

When the Cat's Away, the Mice Will Play

Human Meaning: People misbehave when authority is absent.

When I nap, discipline collapses and standards plummet.

Feline Idioms

A Cat Has Nine Lives

Human Meaning: Cats survive many dangers.

I budget them carefully and expect admiration for every one.

Feline Idioms

Let Sleeping Cats Lie

Human Meaning: Don't disturb a risky situation.

This applies specifically to me and should be obeyed without question.

Feline Idioms

It's Like Herding Cats

Human Meaning: Extremely difficult to organise or control a group.

A clear failure of leadership on your part, not a cat problem. Have you tried opening a tin of tuna? We become remarkably organised then.

Feline Idioms

Fight Like Cat and Dog

Human Meaning: Argue fiercely.

Territorial negotiations are a sign of strong leadership.

Feline Idioms

All Cats Are Grey in the Dark

Human Meaning: Differences don't matter without clarity.

In the dark, all snacks are suspiciously acceptable.

Feline Idioms

Look What the Cat Dragged In

Human Meaning: Said when someone untidy or unwelcome arrives.

I brought you a gift. It took effort. Your lack of gratitude is deeply concerning.

Feline Idioms

Cat Got Your Tongue?

Human Meaning: Why are you silent?

Silence usually indicates awe. Or fear. Both are correct responses to my presence.

Feline Idioms

Play Cat and Mouse

Human Meaning: A game of pursuit and evasion.

I am always the cat. If I appear to be the mouse, reassess.

Feline Idioms

Bell the Cat

Human Meaning: To take on a dangerous task.

Anyone attempting this deserves what happens next.

Feline Idioms

The Cat's Meow

Human Meaning: Something excellent or outstanding.

A direct reference to me. Any other usage is merely a homage.

Feline Idioms

Catfishing

Human Meaning: Creating a false identity to deceive someone, usually online.

When I pretend to be a starving orphan cat to secure second dinner from the neighbour, that is not deception. It is "Strategic Brand Positioning."

Feline Idioms

Fat Cat

Human Meaning: A rich, powerful, and greedy person.

A compliment. Wealth should always be measured in comfort, influence, and fluff.

Feline Idioms

A Copycat

Human Meaning: Someone who imitates another.

Flattery without competence. Usually refers to Ginger Tom trying to be strategic.

Feline Idioms

A Scaredy-Cat

Human Meaning: Someone easily frightened.

A temporary condition caused by insufficient confidence or loud cucumbers.

Feline Idioms

That Put the Cat Among the Pigeons

Human Meaning: Caused shock or upset.

My announcements tend to destabilise weaker minds.

Feline Idioms

She's Having Kittens

Human Meaning: Very upset or agitated.

Mrs Higgins when I offer "assistance".

Feline Idioms

Like a Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Human Meaning: Nervous or restless.

Me, exactly seven minutes before dinner.

Feline Idioms

You Look Like the Cat That Got the Cream

Human Meaning: Looking very pleased with yourself.

I did get the cream. The expression is evidence.

Feline Idioms

To Grin Like a Cheshire Cat

Human Meaning: To smile broadly and mysteriously.

I know something you don't, and I'm enjoying it.

Time-Honoured Words

Flabbergasted

Human Meaning: Greatly surprised or astonished.

The correct reaction to seeing my empty food bowl at 5:01 PM. Also the face I make when Ginger Tom claims to have "forgotten" where he hid the biscuits.

Time-Honoured Words

Chuffed

Human Meaning: Very pleased.

The feeling of finding a sunbeam that nobody else has spotted yet. Also applicable when I successfully catch my own tail (it was a tactical capture).

Time-Honoured Words

Gobsmacked

Human Meaning: Utterly astounded.

The face I make when the vet uses the word "Diet". A scandalous term that should be banned from polite society.

Time-Honoured Words

Bamboozled

Human Meaning: Tricked or confused.

What happens to dogs when I simply hide behind a blade of grass. It doesn't take much.

Time-Honoured Words

Codswallop

Human Meaning: Nonsense.

Any suggestion that I am not the head of this household. See also: "Rules".

Time-Honoured Words

Kerfuffle

Human Meaning: A commotion or fuss.

A highly organised activity involving a Christmas tree, which humans sadly misinterpret as a "disaster". I call it "interactive decoration".

Time-Honoured Words

Gallivanting

Human Meaning: Roaming about for pleasure.

What I tell Mrs Higgins I am doing when I am actually asleep in the neighbour's shed. It sounds much more adventurous.

Time-Honoured Words

Skedaddle

Human Meaning: Depart quickly.

A tactical relocation strategy employed immediately after a vase falls over. It is not running away; it is "creating distance from the evidence".

Time-Honoured Words

Whippersnapper

Human Meaning: A young and presumptuous person.

Tiger. Just... Tiger. Especially when he bounces while I am speechifying.

Time-Honoured Words

Tomfoolery

Human Meaning: Foolish or silly behaviour.

A word evidently invented specifically to describe Ginger Tom trying to fit in a box that is clearly three sizes too small.

Time-Honoured Words

Poppycock

Human Meaning: Rubbish or nonsense.

The ridiculous idea that dogs are "man's best friend". We all know who the real rulers are.

Law & Order

Possession Is Nine-Tenths of the Law

Human Meaning: Ownership is easier to claim when you physically control something.

If I am sitting on it, the debate is over. This applies to cushions, laptops, and your legs.

Philosophy

In a Cat's Eye, All Things Belong to Cats

Human Meaning: Cats believe they own everything they see.

Believe implies doubt. There is none.

Real Estate

It's the Cat's House. I Merely Pay the Mortgage

Human Meaning: The cat truly owns the home.

Mrs Higgins manages the finances. I manage the reality. It is a fair partnership.

Psychology

A Cat Knows You Are the Key to Their Happiness — A Man Thinks He Is

Human Meaning: Humans overestimate their importance to cats.

Humans are support staff with delusions of leadership.

Psychology

If You Want to Know the Character of a Man, Find Out What His Cat Thinks of Him

Human Meaning: Cats judge character accurately.

I keep a moral ledger. Payment is made in treats.

Warning

Beware of People Who Dislike Cats

Human Meaning: Disliking cats may indicate poor character.

These people should not be trusted with keys, food, or opinions.

Psychology

The Purity of a Person's Heart Can Be Immediately Measured by How He Regards Cats

Human Meaning: Kindness to cats shows good character.

Adore me and you are wise. Ignore me and you are doomed.

Relationships

Blessed Are Those Who Love Cats, for They Shall Never Be Lonely

Human Meaning: Cats provide companionship.

I allow my presence as a kindness.

Relationships

Cats Leave Paw Prints on Our Hearts

Human Meaning: Cats leave lasting emotional bonds.

And on furniture. Permanently.

Relationships

Happy Is the Home with at Least One Cat

Human Meaning: Cats bring joy to a household.

One is a start. More is better.

Relationships

A House Without a Dog, a Cat, or a Little Child Is a House Without Joy or Laughter

Human Meaning: Pets and children bring happiness.

Without me, it's just walls and regret.

Relationships

Books, Cats, and Fair-Haired Little Girls Make the Best Furnishing for a Room

Human Meaning: These things create a cosy home.

Books scratch well, humans pet adequately, and I complete the room.

Meteorology

Raining Cats and Dogs

Human Meaning: Raining very heavily.

Weather behaving irresponsibly. Also, dogs falling from the sky sounds like a nightmare. Cats land on their feet; dogs would just bounce.

Philosophy

There Are Many Intelligent Species in the Universe. They Are All Owned by Cats

Human Meaning: Cats rule everything.

Including this dictionary. Now, go fetch my dinner.